CVs are a pain. Blessed are those benefiting from nepotism. Writing about yourself in a way that shows competence and confidence, without looking like the smuggest and most earnest bloke there ever was, is tough. Beyond me at least.

A few years ago I was desperately keen to work as an ad industry creative or television producer. The vagueness of that ambition isn’t lost on me now, but I grand visions of smart sounding titles and jobs outwardly perceived as cool by my peers. Despite having no portfolio or track record of creating art or copy of any kind, it still didn’t deter me from applying to tens of said jobs, attempting to piece together suitably creative CVs to stand out from the crowd.

Looking back, some of the efforts are admirable and fun, but lacking in substance. In attempting originality and differentiating from the crowd (when I really had no insight on what the crowd was doing), I was forgetting that an employer will want someone to advance their business, and handing over prime opportunities in incredibly competitive industries to under-qualified dreamers just doesn’t happen.

Part of the reason why these efforts never resulted in the target job was likely because I was applying for them out of some form of status anxiety, rather than them being jobs I really wanted – or for that matter was qualified to do. This isn’t to say I wouldn’t have loved TV and advertising jobs, it was more like my version of sending in a Football Manager CV to a professional club when a real life manager got the sack. Anyway, there were always higher (maybe more ill advised) priorities at the time.

Wrapped around a wine bottle, the plan with this one was to catch the eye and appeal to the bosses of small to mid sized creative agencies, with interchangeable panels to match the application.

This one was for King & Tuke in Clerkenwell Green, London. It got me a meeting with Simon Tuke the Creative Director, and was really helpful. While King & Tuke didn’t have anything for me at the time, Simon gave me some of his time and was helpful in offering advice on getting a foot in the door.

In looking back through my emails for this post, Simon got back in touch a few years later to say he had finally tasted the wine (2005 Pinga do Torto, Portuguese Red from the Douro) asking where and what I was up to. While not ultimately successful, in at least one case, it had left a lasting impression.

Another of my gambits into cartoon cover letters was for Superhero Television, a small London based production company. There were a few elements to the application, with the below plonked on top in the hope of catching an eye.

I never heard back from anyone at Superhero personally, but in an application including a TV pitch, a cartoon cover letter probably carried less weight. Lesson for 2011 Reynolds – spend more time on the pitch, less with the pencils.

The sudden bursts of creativity and effort to my CVs are like anyone’s, evidence of there being nothing quite so hunger inducing as not having a job. Every time we find ourselves without work or bored at our current station, the old file is dusted off, information updated, loftier salaries entertained.

When I finally had myself a really enjoyable job at a digital agency in Manchester, the energy and effort into going for that super desirable TV or advertising position diminished, as the alternative career path opened up in front of me.

I had been aiming for advertising, but landed up in digital. While I was good at the job, I can’t ignore my opportunity came from having a close friend working at the same company. Unfortunately things didn’t work out for that business as a whole, but it did spring me onto a larger agency I very much enjoyed, and created the last of the creative CVs we’ll look at here.

Working in SEO meant Google and its search results were always a priority. The above is a section of my Photoshop attempt at recreating the screen you’d see if I was SEO savvy enough to actually have my jobs rank in chronological order from merely Googling my name.

The creative efforts put into the wine bottle and other comic strips are probably more indicative of keen procrastination – busying myself with the irrelevant, nice icing on an otherwise half-baked cake. But hey, who doesn’t love icing?